Yesterday I addressed the idea that perhaps my style is regressing; but today I wonder if it’s not just me that’s regressing but the world of fashion as well. While trends have a tendency to repeat themselves, this is the first time that I’ve seen the footwear styles I wore as an adolescent, pre-teen, teen, and college-drunkard join together in one season. And while that’s already curious enough, what’s more curious is that these resurfaced trends are ones that make me cringe to think I ever wore. Don’t get me wrong, I accept many of my own fashion faux pas — newsboy caps cocked to the side I’m looking at you — but in the world of footwear, many of the mistakes that I’ve made I care not to discuss or repeat. But allow me to be selfless here and discuss them anyways.

TEVAS // ALEXANDER WANG

When I was in elementary school I idolized my brothers. Hand-me-downs were not a forced situation but a desired one. I was never a tomboy at heart, but I made sure to get my hands on as many of their reptile print shirts and baggy jeans as I could. This was not about looking cool, this was about feeling cool. Case in point? My need for Tevas. Though exploring woody paths and dams were part of my weekend adventures, I was not the outdoorsy girl. So instead I paired my unnecessary Tevas with overalls, leggings, and cotton dresses that were actually just oversize t-shirts. I was determined to give off the vibe that I was cool like the boys but girly enough to know that belting a t-shirt to look like a dress is stylish. Looking back these outfits made for some pretty awesome Yearbook photos, but that’s about it. So imagine my look of shock when Alexander Wang debuted a sandal that may as well be a replica of the Teva. I have yet to see anyone actually wear these (and I did a thorough Google search in hopes to find an image), and I’m just going to say that I think it’s for the better. I’m sure they look great paired with overalls or an oversize t-shirt dress, but let’s save that for the chickadees.

THE GEISHA SHOE // PRADA

A few years after Tevas left my style-scene, Rocket Dog “geisha” sandals took their place. I would clunk around my 6th grade classrooms in these hard-t0-walk in sandals, convinced that the girls thought of me as Cher Horowitz and the guys found me utterly irresistible. This may have been the case, but I would like to test their sense of judgment since my own was clearly misguided into thinking these shoes were cool. I actually never thought geisha sandals would find their way back into fashion, but low and behold Miuccia Prada sent them down her Spring 2013 runway. They’re currently available for pre-order for $1150 (I think my Rocketdogs cost $25) and I anticipate the moment I see them take the streets on someone other than Anna Dello Russo or Elle Fanning.

BIRKENSTOCKS // CELINE

Like many girls in high school, I was completely obsessed with the Olsen twins’ style. Along with copying their grandpa cardigans, flared jeans, and oversize sunglasses, I also took cues from Mary-Kate and bought myself a pair of Birkenstocks. I remember my best friend being supportive of my decision to wear the stoner shoes, but telling me she thought they were ugly regardless (for the record: I did the same to her with her furry Ugg boots and cropped denim skirt. Hashtag friendship). I’d say the Birkenstocks lasted about six months in my wardrobe before I threw them out, but I still find myself drawn to them simply because those Olsen twins pull them off so well. How do they do it!? I look like Frodo Baggins when I wear them! Anyways, then Phoebe Philo and her epitome-of-cool Céline showcased Mock-enstocks complete with furry insoles. I actually think they could look good if worn correctly (see my earlier comment on the Olsens pulling off Birkenstocks), but I do wonder what will happen to the fur once the foot starts to sweat…

GLADIATOR SANDALS // ALTUZARRA

Gladiator sandals never really left the trend scene, but their height certainly shortened. In college I owned a few pairs of knee-high gladiator sandals and though my style already stood out at my middle-of-nowhere school, I don’t think I’ve ever received so many questioning looks. I also didn’t really care and unlike my Tevas and geisha shoes, I have yet to throw these awkward-tan-forming sandals away. They haven’t gotten much wear in the past 4 years, but something has kept me from tossing them in the donation bin. Much to my delight, Altuzarra sent gladiator-inspired heels down his spring 2013 runways, which makes me think I’ll have to dabble in this trend again.

So there’s my little recap of old shoe trends becoming new shoe trends. This further emphasizes my theory that trends are BS, and also brings up a potentially new theory. Are high-end designers borrowing from the brands that design for the masses? Because I think if you were to ask which came first the Wang or the Teva, you would find your answer to be the Wang. And I’m talking about Alexander here, not the male genitalia. Ok, goodbye.